She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
