I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
