Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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