the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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