Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
