Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
