i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
