He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
