I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
