I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
