yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
