New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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