I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
