You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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