Did you just see the Batmobile???
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
my poor anus
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
