I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i now understand why vodka
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
