I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
