so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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