Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
