so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
