Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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