I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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