at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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