i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
