i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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