Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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