i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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