it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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