i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Two words: blizzard sex
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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