Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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