I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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