you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
