The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
