No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
vagina is talking i cant
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
