It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We have started to decorate penises.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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