This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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