sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
