Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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