his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
