She's JV to your varsity
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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