He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My ass is underappreciated
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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