i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My cat gives me a boner
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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