Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
