So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
