Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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