I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
