Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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