My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
