you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
