wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.