So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.