I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book