Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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  (203): Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states. http://tfl.nu/jgy9
  Replies (40) Good night (969) Bad night (2748)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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  (608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw
  Replies (10) Good night (4275) Bad night (667)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1272) Bad night (3464)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (720) Bad night (4343)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.

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  (662): I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high. http://tfl.nu/4f4j
  Replies (17) Good night (7056) Bad night (1798)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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  (440): Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college? http://tfl.nu/er5p
  Replies (19) Good night (4082) Bad night (1041)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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  (260): How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content? http://tfl.nu/u3hm
  Replies (8) Good night (2686) Bad night (1250)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...

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  (+61): She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was... http://tfl.nu/7mx1
  Replies (50) Good night (11317) Bad night (2574)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

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  (989): Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ? http://tfl.nu/oaz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1233) Bad night (733)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things

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  (319): Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things http://tfl.nu/stlu
  Replies (5) Good night (1176) Bad night (531)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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  (586): Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face" http://tfl.nu/ajht
  Replies (6) Good night (2238) Bad night (634)
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  (470): View more from Georgia

  My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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  (470): My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time. http://tfl.nu/utoz
  Replies (6) Good night (1577) Bad night (438)
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  (707): View more from California

  According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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  (707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5
  Replies (4) Good night (1385) Bad night (273)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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  (601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku
  Replies (0) Good night (209) Bad night (345)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.

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  (330): It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is. http://tfl.nu/7216
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (223)

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