Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before