Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.

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  (619): no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row. http://tfl.nu/cyuc
  Replies (9) Good night (1854) Bad night (881)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It smells like weed.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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  (303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb
  Replies (41) Good night (3918) Bad night (593)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

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  (914): Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary. http://tfl.nu/8dm9
  Replies (44) Good night (5441) Bad night (859)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.

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  (251): the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville. http://tfl.nu/cwli
  Replies (37) Good night (1196) Bad night (5044)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was

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  (203): She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was http://tfl.nu/dgtk
  Replies (15) Good night (3942) Bad night (1337)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.

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  (630): i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it. http://tfl.nu/z8s5
  Replies (6) Good night (1067) Bad night (3043)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

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  (802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/eawi
  Replies (7) Good night (3004) Bad night (602)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.

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  (915): Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn. http://tfl.nu/g641
  Replies (3) Good night (1647) Bad night (624)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.

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  (413): Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day. http://tfl.nu/6cqk
  Replies (17) Good night (2863) Bad night (705)
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  (661): View more from California

  ive cried into many a lonely burritos..

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  (661): ive cried into many a lonely burritos.. http://tfl.nu/4c82
  Replies (6) Good night (605) Bad night (921)
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  (619): View more from California

  He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.

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  (619): He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating. http://tfl.nu/k9pn
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (2279)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.

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  (763): It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award. http://tfl.nu/a9wc
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (979)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

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  (765): My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/h32f
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (310)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I will be over with a bedpan and beer

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  (417): I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again (1-417): I will be over with a bedpan and beer http://tfl.nu/dsbf
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (265)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.

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  (616): Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS. http://tfl.nu/6mor
  Replies (3) Good night (221) Bad night (700)

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