dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
