Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
