god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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