im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
