i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
