I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
