I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
