So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
