Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
