Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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