so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
