what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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