Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
